Monday - Day 23 in BMTU

M had given her answer to her team of doctors on Friday that she does not wish to pursue another round of chemo. Her doctor wasn't around that day but sent a message through the team that he thought it was a wise decision. They would have wanted to give her the chemo immediately, a five day course instead of seven, with only a 20% of it actually killing the leukemia and a 95% chance of one of her major organs failing. She basically insisted that she'd rather let the leukemia get her than a failed kidney, liver, heart, etc. So far, she has had a few fevers and more platelet transfusions over the weekend. The last time I brought up platelet counts I mentioned that she couldn't get past 31K. She needed 50K to get her chemo port and that never happened. Recently she has been fluctuating between 13K and 19K but yesterday they went up to 50K. 50K is great for her - she hasn't gone up that high in over a year - but useless now that the chemo is over for the port insertion. Anyway, platelets going up is a great sign, now we just have to get the fevers down (high of 100.6º, not terrible) and her white blood cell count up. For those of you who don't know, white cells cannot be transfused, they regenerate internally but have been depleted with the chemo. Regenerating her white cells, can however, be boosted in the BMTU. She will remain in the BMTU as long as her levels are down. Fingers crossed and prayers that she can get out of there soon. She has now been there for 23 days. 

As a result of the chemo, M has begun to lose her hair. It comes out mostly in the shower and when she brushes/combs it. It comes out in clumps and patches, and usually also on her pillow. My aunt purchased her two wigs that she has been donning since last week. They look awesome -  they are the style that she wanted and the style that she was doing her hair - and they are made from real human hair. If you didn't know that they were wigs you probably couldn't even tell. Aunt S has been shortening M's real hair by trimming it so that the loss isn't as horrific looking when it's long. 

She has significantly lost her appetite and subsequently has lost a significant amount of weight. When I tell you she only weighs about 15-20 lbs more than me, that should be shocking. She's a good 4 or 5 inches taller than me also. Trying to get her to eat is rough since the food at the hospital is less than par and her choices are limited. She cannot eat fresh fruits or vegetables, or anything with raw, uncooked ingredients. Being there for 23 days she has plowed through most, if not all of her choices. Every one has been great at buying her or making her things to eat before they stop in. Big shout outs to my aunts who purchased some soup/sandwiches for her to eat at lunch, and to Pam and Linda bringing her Zupko's pizza last week. I've made her two things and she's eaten them. If she likes it, she will eat it. She scarfed down some Shepherd's Pie last week and Aunt S is bringing her stuffed cabbage today. Hopefully she doesn't need the commode ;) 

So for now, getting her levels back up are key. She has agreed to partake in a clinical trial if one is available to her when the time comes that her levels are up. It would most likely be the Chinese Herbal Root that I had mentioned in my post last week. Also, trying to get in touch with the Cancer Center of Philadelphia over the weekend seemed to be purposeless. Hopefully we can get in contact with them today to see if they have another course of action for M. 

All for now. 

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.

Delicious Ambiguity.” 

~ Gilda Radner