After all the waiting – M finally got a PICC line inserted into her arm last night so they can begin the continuous chemo drip. The doctors couldn’t insert the port into her collarbone because her platelets wouldn’t get over 31K. If they had tried to do that yesterday she may have bled out. Finally they decided that the PICC line would suffice, however it started bleeding last night. They waited until around 845 this morning, monitoring her new insertion and started the pre-meds for chemo. As of that time, she was A-OK to start the chemo. I believe she started between 9 am and 930 am.
She will be receiving Cytarabine and Idarubicin.
Even though it’s not “Music Monday” - and because I don’t really have much to say today – I will let some music do the talking for me. The bridge of the following song is the title of my blog: “Dance, like no one’s watching you… Dance, like the whole world’s watching you… Dance, like I am watching you… Dance.” It’s just a small quote that reminds me of my mother, because she always enjoyed watching me dance and wanted me to pursue a career in it. She knew better than I did how happy it made me and now I’ve realized how incredibly happy I am when I am dancing. She is currently enthralled that I'm pursuing the Zumba training. I first acquired this CD when she was diagnosed with MDS and it hit me at the right time. If it weren’t so long I’d get it tattooed on me somewhere. That’s all.
Owned by Parabelle. Reassembling the Icons (2010) Track 9
The Devil Inside Me
Your voice has that sound again,
it tells me you've done what you said you wouldn't do.
You took my life and turned it around.
I’m barely breathing... Just because
this is the hand that holds you down,
doesn't mean you’re stumbling.
Life’s here behind me and things that aren't said...
And everyone here just winds up scared.
The angel beside me doesn't even care.
All the moments turn to memories
through the back of my head.
Won’t you stop now?
My heart already knows that it’s over;
but it barely knows it’s alive.
One thing: you hold me better. And we all need someone, and...
Life’s here behind me and things that aren't said...
and everyone here just winds up scared.
The angel beside me doesn't even care.
We both know the sky here reminds us
of things that aren't fair.
Well, I’m starting to realize
the devil inside me wasn't always there.
Dance... like no one’s watching you,
Dance... like the whole world’s watching you,
Dance... like I am watching you, dance.
Is it over now? If these are the arms that hold you...
Life’s here behind me and things that aren't said...
And everyone here just winds up scared.
The angel beside me doesn't even care.
We both know the sky here reminds us
of things that aren't fair.
I’m starting to realize
the devil inside me wasn't always there.
Do you need me?
I won’t make you better;
You barely know you’re alive
Do you need me?
I won’t make you happy...
Do you even care?
Do you even care?
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
– Aldous Huxley
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